This. Really. Happened.
So the #45 bus, in San Francisco, goes through the heart of Chinatown. At about 4-5 PM, it's PACKED with little old chinese women in their early 50's or older, all with groceries in hand. One day, this guy gets on in a trenchcoat, and opens it to display to the women on the bus that he is not wearing anything UNDER the trenchcoat. Wagglewagglewaggle. The women make irritated and disgusted noises, looking away- and one woman digs in her bag of groceries, whips out a bunch of bok choi, and SPANGGGGG nails the guy right upside the cock with it. He collapses to the ground and 4 or 5 tiny wizened Chinese women hold him down on the bus, pulping the bok choi by using it as a sort of pestle on his genitalia until the bus gets to the next stop, at which they bodily throw him out the back door.
So the #45 bus, in San Francisco, goes through the heart of Chinatown. At about 4-5 PM, it's PACKED with little old chinese women in their early 50's or older, all with groceries in hand. One day, this guy gets on in a trenchcoat, and opens it to display to the women on the bus that he is not wearing anything UNDER the trenchcoat. Wagglewagglewaggle. The women make irritated and disgusted noises, looking away- and one woman digs in her bag of groceries, whips out a bunch of bok choi, and SPANGGGGG nails the guy right upside the cock with it. He collapses to the ground and 4 or 5 tiny wizened Chinese women hold him down on the bus, pulping the bok choi by using it as a sort of pestle on his genitalia until the bus gets to the next stop, at which they bodily throw him out the back door.
...not =to=. Just =around=.
bok choy fu defeats evil Western, um, something...
Don't mess with the packs of little old Chinese ladies, folks; let this be thy warning. I always suspected large amounts of bok choy could be dangerous, but... man.
Considering the groceries I've seen little old ladies carrying on Chinatown buses, though, the guy's lucky it wasn't a large live fish.
And I'd love to have seen the guy's file at General Hospital. "Cause of injury, please, sir? A *what*? Bwahahaha!"
The End.
Actually...
This is an extrapolation from an entry into the SFPD police blotter ca. mid '90s.
Re: Actually...
Who ate the tasty bok choy?
It ain't the Joy Luck Club.
Impressive.
Vaguely phallic vegetables...Check...
Flaggelation of a real phallus...Check...
Jeeeez, the lengths some guys will go to to get their fetish on, but you've got to give the man props.
Man, I hope it actually went 'SPANGGGGGG'.
That rocks!!!
That does it.