To quote the first couple sentences:
'A 47 year old gay man was arrested at San Francisco International Airport after ejaculating while being patted down by a male TSA agent. Percy Cummings, an interior designer from San Francisco, is being held without bail after the alleged incident, charged with sexually assaulting a Federal agent.'
Deadseriousnews.com is a farce site- more deadpan than The Onion.
What does your- and my- immediate reaction of taking this completely at face value say about the state of US TSA security theatre?
That said- Percy Cummings? PERCY CUMMINGS? Such a gent, if this were a real news story, would need to have a Prince Albert, an ampallang, an avapadraya (spelled wrong and honestly I don't wanna look to know), a frenulum or something else.