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in a web of glass, pinned to the edges of vision

Thought experiment.

I'd forgotten how often we saw Magritte

mucha mosaic

Thought experiment.

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So earlier today, I encountered this news story.


To quote the first couple sentences:
'A 47 year old gay man was arrested at San Francisco International Airport after ejaculating while being patted down by a male TSA agent. Percy Cummings, an interior designer from San Francisco, is being held without bail after the alleged incident, charged with sexually assaulting a Federal agent.'

Deadseriousnews.com is a farce site- more deadpan than The Onion.

What does your- and my- immediate reaction of taking this completely at face value say about the state of US TSA security theatre?

That said- Percy Cummings? PERCY CUMMINGS? Such a gent, if this were a real news story, would need to have a Prince Albert, an ampallang, an avapadraya (spelled wrong and honestly I don't wanna look to know), a frenulum or something else.
  • Well, my first thoughts were "What's the charge, exactly?" and "'Percy Cummings'?" and I thought this had to be fake.
    • yeah, I giggled a bit at the deep irony of the name & situation w/o assuming it WAS false.

      After all, our incoming Speaker of the Haus is a Mr. Boner. Which I probably misspelled.
    • incoming boner, yes
    • Technically, the man says it is pronounced BAY-ner.

      After he is sworn in I will begin using BAYner as the official pronunciation for all things.

      "That porn star has a big boehner."

      "Batman made a boehner and the Joker got away!"
      • We were explaining the last election to a friend over seas, and he had trouble believing Boehner and dick Army were real people....
  • Maybe it's my cynicism, but I assumed on first read that it was a parody. This may be because I read the whole article, in which Mr Cummings' husband's name was something even more outrageous like Armani. Also, "held without bail" seemed excessive for the alleged crime.

    But I am no fun at all and should shut up and let everybody make dirty jokes, so I mostly did so.

    Ironically I then got the Midwestern version of the same humor in an email from a retirement-age relative in the flyover states: a cartoon of a saggy-figured elderly lady at an airline check-in gate saying "Oh, I'm not flying today - I'm just here for the pat-down."
  • HA!!! ;P
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