Log in

No account? Create an account

in a web of glass, pinned to the edges of vision


I'd forgotten how often we saw Magritte

mucha mosaic


Previous Entry Share Next Entry
Ignorance is not intent.
Asking to learn is not affront.
Offended is not entitled.

This vocabulary lesson brought to you courtesy of a few folks.
  • Hmmm. If someone asked me 'I want to know more about this, make me smarter?', I'd be within my rights to say 'I don't have the time-- check google, I found a website a while back named ____'. Someone getting snippy with me about saying that, though? that's where the affront comes in for me, not with the seeking of knowledge.
  • Absolutely you would. I would also think that you'd be within your rights to be irked if that was the same question you got over and over again from people who didn't have enough basic respect for you to do a little basic research before barging in and demanding information. And even with a willing teacher one might be better served by observing anyway. I've found that I feel like I catch more, learn more when I start by listening. By participating in a system, you alter it.
    • I don't have a viewpoint that's too divorced from the mythological 'neutral' viewpoint of western civ- at least, not if one's just going off of outward appearances- so I do not get as many questions of the 'be patient with my dumb butt' variety as I'd imagine you do. I can certainly see getting frustrated with people behaving as if you're there to educate 'em, though- but I tend to value my civility higher than their dumbness.
  • Which, I'd add, is different from asking for resources. (i.e. "Where do I start?") And different from talking 101 issues with close friends.

    But, from the hostile reaction I'm getting downthread, I'm going to assume that I'm missing something and withdraw from the conversation in this forum.
    • Earlier over the last week, someone was going off on me because- as near as I can tell- she perceives me as a closet racist. st_rev is, I think, assuming you'd already read the post on my journal (it's the most recent one that's mostly struck through).
      I think, in future, I am going to try to use 'hey, you have an experience I don't- how should I find out more about where you're coming from? Resources?' instead of finishing that off with 'tell me about it?' It's a totally fair point that people can get sick of relating and re-relating and re-re-re-relating their own history.
      • It is not unlike the coming-out story or "How did you know you were gay" question, for many people.

        However, just because I have been asked (in varying degrees of politeness) "Why are you in that wheelchair" several hundred times is not an excuse for me to be a bitch to anyone asking. (Even the assholes, although I have been known to fail at that one.) If I want to represent the community well, the least I can manage a "I'd rather not talk about that. If you'd like to know more, there are some really good books by Dr Disability in the library."
        • Yeah- one gets tired of telling the coming-out/how-did-you-know stories: I can certainly readily grasp being tired of telling the it-works-different-when-you-ain't-white story.

          And yes. hence 'offended is not entitled', above. ;) Just because someone asks me whether I'm the girl or the boy in bed doesn't give me permission to blow up and have a shrieking fit about the question.
Powered by LiveJournal.com