Artist: Camper Van Beethoven
Comment: Oh come the fuck on, I've had ONE beer. ONE.
What's currently in your fridge?
Song: Les Dents
Comment: I... my roommate MIGHT have put teeth in the fridge? I know I'm not unwrapping the catalog of horrors that are his leftovers to check.
Your biggest nightmare?
Song: Hollywood Sunset
Artist: Barry Adamson
Comment: Curiously, I rather like sunset in Hollywood. As well as Sunset in Hollywood, see what I did there, hah hah hah.
What place would you like to visit?
Artist: Pet Shop Boys
Comment: Clearly I don't enjoy order in my life. Wait a second...
A reason to commit suicide?
Song: Armageddon Days Are Here (Again)
Artist: The The
Comment: Oh come on, this is far from the worst thing Johnny Marr's performed on, I mean there's some brilliant lyrical twists about-- oh. Yeah, okay, getting out of Armageddon would be handy.
Why are we here?
Song: Sax & Violins
Artist: Talking Heads
Comment: Clearly, it's all about the sax and violins.
Something you never dared to say to anyone...?
Song: Look Back In Anger
Artist: David Bowie
Comment: I can think of a few people I'd love to suggest this tactic to. It's amazing how much different the past looks when you're pissed off at it.
One thing the world really doesn't need?
Song: English Summer
Artist: The Eurythmics
Comment: I dunno, I think England would get pretty effing bleak without summer.
What's your biggest unfulfilled wish?
Song: Everybody Needs Love
Artist: Robyn Hitchcock
Comment: Probably self-explanatory.
If you could invent something, what would it be?
Song: Oops- I Did It Again
Artist: Max Raabe & Der Palast Orchester
Comment: Well, it'd be an accident, whatever it was.
The last thing you say before you die?
Song: Ca Plane Pour Moi
Artist: Plastic Bertrand
Comment: 'That Plane's For Me' seems a terribly surreal exit line. I approve.
What's your destiny?
Song: Nails In The Road
Artist: The Pretenders
Comment: YEAH WELL I WON'T BE THE HAMSTER OF MODERN ROCK, CHRISSY, TAKE THAT.
What do you do when you're alone in an elevator?
Song: Hot Corner
Artist: The B-52's
Comment: I didn't know I made out with myself in the corner when nobody else was in the elevator. Well! Now I know.
Why do people go fishing?
Song: The Final Battle
Artist: Michael Kamen
Comment: The showdown between TROUT and MIDDLE-AGED DUMPY GUY is the ULTIMATE showdown.
What would you do with your slaves?
Song: We're Having Much More Fun
Comment: Apparently, I'd have more fun than other people were having. I think that sounds appropriate.
Is there a man on the moon?
Artist: Nouvelle Vague
Comment: I... am not sure. iTunes wishes to speak about where the moon is than what is in a where one might call the moon.
What does hell look like?
Song: The Bridge of Khazad Dum
Artist: Howard Shore
Comment: Well there's an irony.
About what would you like to write a book?
Song: Putting On The Ritz
Artist: Rufus Wainwright
Comment: Okay I AM NOT THIS GAY, iTunes, jesus. However, that said- uhm, the book I'm working on is set in the inter-war years of the early 20th century.
The best thing ever is...?
Song: Somebody From Somewhere
Artist: Ella Fitzgerald (Comp. Gershwin & Gershwin)
Comment: I suppose it'd have to be a person- one I haven't met so far, I'm guessing.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Artist: Avenue Q Cast
Comment: To laugh at the expense of someone else.
Why do you listen to music?
Song: Victorian Squid
Artist: Robyn Hitchcock
What do you do when you're alone and nobody's watching?
Artist: Ella Fitzgerald (Comp. Berlin)
Comment: I'll take 'Doing Fuckall' for $400, Alex
Why are other people so stupid?
Artist: Soundtrack- Casshern
Comment: Because they're pretending to be someone else, I suppose?
Last thing you ate?
Song: No Bravery
Artist: James Blunt
Comment: That's true- I had scrambled eggs for dinner.
Why is grass green?
Song: Delusions of Grandeur
Artist: Fleming & John
Comment: Apparently it aspires to be something else. Perhaps money?
Your phone is ringing, but who's on the other end?
Song: Dance of the Dream Man
Artist: Angelo Badalamenti
Comment: DO NOT WANT. I do NOT want the Man From Another Place ringing me up and talking backwards at me.
What should you stop doing?
Song: J'ai Deux Amours
Artist: Madeleline Peyroux
Comment: ...uhm, well, I obviously should HAVE two before I stop having two.
A word of advice to the readers of this quiz?
Song: I Am A Human Head
Artist: They Might Be Giants
Comment: It's true, everything from the neck down's a prosthesis.