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in a web of glass, pinned to the edges of vision

idle curiosity, part the 234985702938746th

I'd forgotten how often we saw Magritte

mucha mosaic

idle curiosity, part the 234985702938746th

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INTERWEBS BRING PAIN
So what is the worst movie you've ever seen in a theater, Gentle Reader? Not the one you thought afterwards 'I want those X hours of my life back' about, but the film about which all rational thought screamed 'how could this film have even happened? WHO THOUGHT THIS MADE SENSE???' as you left your seat, and perhaps even in the middle of the night you lay there staring at the ceiling wondering how anyone sane could've permitted this film to see the light of day.

Mine's a toss-up: either the preview screening cut of Kurt Russell's Soldier (which I even walked out of), or Cloverfield (aka The Blair Monster Project), which only took myself and doroc_sabah the length of a hallway and one escalator to enact an entire Statler & Waldorf routine about, without even realizing it.

So what are your all-time losers, cinema-wise?
  • There are probably worse, but the one that comes to mind is Battlefield Earth. It took me a while to live down dragging the gf to that one.
  • Tomcats. Oh the pain.
  • (no subject) -
    • Barbarians sounds like it'd be WTFeriffic, my god.
      Also, weren't the leads in that one doing gay porn in the early 90s?
  • In the Name of the King.
  • The most recent awfulest movie was the live-action Blood: The Last Vampire which I openly began mocking when the black guy who coached the girl's kendo team on the American air force base where Fuji-san was in the background of every outdoor shot turned into the abysmally badly animated stubby-armed gray CG monster. No one else in the sparsely-populated theatre seemed to mind much by that point either.

    But at least I had fun watching (and slagging on) it. Memoirs of a Geisha and Up both left me in full-out super-Saiyan battle rage despite being very pretty cinematographically. I've written about both before and don't really need to repeat it, but the removal of women's agency was a contributing factor both times.
    • I wasn't as incensed by Blood: the Last Vampire: however, I'd walked in expecting to see a pretty movie with no depth whatsoever.

      While watching Up, btw, I did definitely notice that at least one of the cloud-parents in the opening cartoon was definitely female.
  • Hands down: Event Horizon, the only movie I have ever walked out of,
    • I didn't walk out of it, but only because I was paid to sit through it for a review. But we are agreed. I wonder what bet Larry Fishburne lost to star in that travesty.
  • The Jetsons. It was free. I still paid too much.

    Alternately, the second Austin Powers movie.
    • The Jetsons. It was free. I still paid too much.

      This. Word for word. This is the only movie I've ever walked out of.
  • Highlander II.
    hands down the worst movie.
    actually made me angry.
  • Batman and Robin, probably. Surf Nazis Must Die might have qualified, but I knew going in that it would be over-the-top cheese so it was enjoyably bad.
  • tough call.
    I own copies of Deep Blue Sea, Lake Placid and Lake Placid 2.

    Session Nine was the second most horrifying horror movie ever.
    - when the credits finished rolling, I, Shauna, and the rest of the audiance were all sittting in our seats quietly. no one spoke until we reached the street.
    well done movie. sucked you in. filled you with horror.
    especially if you had (like shauna/izzy and I ) had been to the asylum they filled it in.

    There was another movie - whose name escapes me - that caused me to have flashbacks of childhood abuse so bad that my GF put a coat over my head and led me from the theatre because I lost my mind.
    does that count?

    ok; so just - not good, at all... mmm... Kids. yeah, that was nasty. rrr. i give up. I love bad movies.
  • I paid full price to see Feardotcom.

    Oh, I saw Cloverfield too. That is to say, I was in the theater while Cloverfield was playing, but I saw no more than the first 15 minutes and about five minutes somewhere in the center. I get motion sickness during films where the camera shakes (I get the same effect with first-person computer games, and have since then somewhat solved that issue with motion sickness bands.)

    My husband, who was sitting next to me and allowed me to use his shoulder as a pillow for the bulk of the film, said it was terrible and I didn't miss much anyway.
  • (no subject) -
  • Tough call... there are several really close contenders:

    I Come In Peace
    Freejack
    Eve Of Destruction
    Hellraiser III
    Cool World


    Actually, I thought of about a dozen more in the amount of time it took me to type out the first ones that popped into my head. Mind you, I *like* bad movies, as long as there's *some* kind of entertainment value to be had, even if it's at the expense of the filmmaker. Maximum Overdrive is just stinky, but one of my favorite films (I've seen it at least 10 times). Showgirls is so horrible it's very nearly an art film, but loads of fun to watch with a room full of drunk comics. You can't love Repo: The Genetic Opera (which I do) without a great love of terrible schlock. But the above films have no redeeming features whatsoever. They are not funny. They are not even fun. In the words of Dr. Clayton Forrester, "bad script, bad acting... bad for you!"
    • Showgirls is a perfect example of 'it's good because it's so bad', for sure!
  • Raggedy Ann and Andy: A Musical Adventure was one of the few movies I and my siblings went to see on our own as kids. It was, uh, not what we were expecting. I'd see it again, though, which is not a qualification attaching to Tank Girl, which caused me considerable pain in its attempt to make a hero out of an amoral maniac.
  • I've been tempted many times, but the one movie I actually walked out on was Pan's Labyrinth.
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