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in a web of glass, pinned to the edges of vision

Fucking iPod

I'd forgotten how often we saw Magritte

mucha mosaic

Fucking iPod

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thwack (by lj-user twoflower)
So the damned thing won't non-manually synch my music collection past the letter A. So I left the house, and it decided, on my way home, to play this:

The beauty that you gave
Has turned upon itself
And all the things you said
Evaporated ...
Was I blind
Deaf and dumb
To the words slipped from your tongue?

Honestly ... honestly ... honestly
(Alone in my bed
The things that you said
Go round in my head ... still
It seems to be true
That nothin' I do
Can influence you ...)

I tried and tried again
(Don't you know I tried and tried again
to make you listen to me
But everything I said it always seemed to go right through you)
To make you notice me
(I turned myself into a person that I didn't like
But please believe me when I say I know it wasn't right)
But talking to myself
(I never thought that things would
get to be so complicated
I never thought that you and me would end up So frustrated)
Won't catch you attention I see ...
(You'd think that something had to come from all those good intentions
But in the end I needed something more than intervention)

Was I mad?
Was I ... mad?
Foolish me
Foolish ... me
To succumb so easily
To suc...cumb
So easily
So easily

Honestly... honestly... honestly...
(Alone in my bed
The things that you said
Go round in my head ... still
It seems to be true
That nothin' I do
Can influence you... still)

Fools like me get so easily taken
And fools like me can be so mistaken

Honestly... Honestly... Honestly

The promise that you gave
(Don't you know the promise that you
gave just turned it's back upon me
I stopped believing but you couldn't take the whole thing from me)
Has turned it's back
(I never thought I'd have to pay the price to set you free)
And all you represented
Was just my projection you see...
(You know I never thought I'd ever
live a day without you
And that's the reason why
it makes me sad to think about you
and you know I never thought
I'd make it if you wasn't there
And now I'm tryin' to eject myself
from this despair)

People come
People go...
Never say "I told you so"
(I told you so
I told you so)

Everything I know you said
Goin' round inside my head

Never thought I'd see the day
Always got a price to pay

Nothin' that I ever do
Ever seems to get to you

Really, I don't think I should have to pay the price of this song turning up unexpectedly.
  • Wow, buzzkill.
  • Mine pulled something like that earlier.

    Thank the gods for overstressed stupidity; I've already forgotten what song it was.
    • Oh hurrah overstressedness.
      For once.

      I'm counting it as a win that I managed to listen to this song while walking home from Noc Noc and not burst into tears.
    • I'm so sorry it's a bad night, darlin'. Honestly, I'd undo what I could of it if I had the ability to undo any of it.

      Imagine me saying that in Dr. Orpheus' voice. It may make you grin a bit.
      • I just wish it didn't hurt so much. I wish I were dead.
        • It will hurt, sweetheart. I say that having lost someone who was my one-and-only.

          You have to cope. It's been the better part of 20 years for me, at this point, and I stagger along. I haven't found another person who's As Good as he was, but I have a lot of fun.

          Also, I hope you aren't dead. You are a great deal of pleasure to deal with, and while it's DESPERATELY sad that Ranj has passed on, honestly- from all of your descriptions, I'm very sad I never interacted with him- you have a value all by yourself. And a rather positive value, to boot.

          Edited at 2009-07-25 08:31 am (UTC)
          • I know. I'm trying, I really am. I just don't know what to do sometimes. It hurts so much. I thought I knew, because of Owen and Richard, but this is so much worse. So much worse.
            • The thing that he'd ask of you? is that you keep on keeping on. Really, think about it. What would Ranj ask of you if there were no more Ranj in the world? he'd ask that you continue to have an awesome time of it in the universe, since you'll be doing so and he shan't be. So please- pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease- on his behalf, continue having fun with the world.
              That doesn't mean you aren't allowed moments of pause to say 'AUGH GOD RANJ IS NOT HERE', mind. I've had plenty of such moments over the last dozen-or-two years.
              Give yourself permission to miss him- because you will miss him- but without missing him redefining the universe, because I strongly suspect he'd not want to reshape reality for you by being absent from it. He'd rather glance down from the afterlife and say 'oh... okay, noveldevice had fun that I didn't get to have with her. Sucks I didn't get to, but it's wonderful that she had fun."
              • I know you're right.

                I should go to bed. Things will look better in the morning.

                Thanks, for being here.
                • Sleep well, and when you wake, I hope the world looks a little less bleak than it looked when you went to bed.
    • *random hugs from random person*
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