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in a web of glass, pinned to the edges of vision

I read boing boing so you don't have to

I'd forgotten how often we saw Magritte

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I read boing boing so you don't have to

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So the well-set-up fellows from Boing Boing shared a review of the new Transformers movie they'd found that is, possibly, the most vitriolic satirically hysterical thing I have read in many an age.

And he has the hottest girlfriend in the universe, Megan Fox, for whom banality is a huge aphrodisiac. The more pathetic Sam gets, the more Fox's lips pout and her nipples point, like little Irish setters.
  • Wait, you quote that line, and then don't quote the next one which is even awesomer?

    Well, I'll do it for you. "The more pathetic Sam gets, the more Fox's lips pout and her nipples point, like little Irish setters."
    • I wanted to intrigue- not to tell people everything about it! But sure, I probably shoulda quoted that. I'll edit it in.
      • I keed! I keed!
        • Actually, you were right: I'd been seesawing on whether or not to include that line, and when you said 'you should've', the see-saw came down on the 'add it' side.
    • sadly, I am a fan of TheBoof. Even more sadly: I think the Zefron now has better acting cred.
      • Since apparently he's going to require the splint for 'the rest of my life' (his words), I wish dude would get like, a golf glove w/ splints built in instead of wandering around with nasty-looking surgical tape wrapped around his hand.
        That's just gross.
  • "you. do. not. leave. the. cabinet."

  • This may be the best movie review ever written.
    • I dunno, I did stumble across a sentence from another review- not a pisstake review for fandom like io9.com's tend to be- which had me cackling.
      "Watching Transformers 2 is like watching paint dry... while being repeatedly hit over the head with a frying pan."
  • maybe i'm just sick, but this review really does make "revenge of the fallen" look like the best movie ever. now i really want to see it.
  • What a quote mine that review was!

    FWIW, my personal fave is: "LaBoeuf projects a pathetic, wall-eyed dorkhood, when he's not babbling like a tumor removed from Woody Allen's prostate that somehow achieved sentience."
    • Yeah. I kinda enjoy the She-Beef (as I'm prone to calling him) but it's a very accurate characterization.
  • Wow. This is ADD on meth and crack. At it's best. Or possibly worst.

    Did this guy even pay attention to the movie? Or was he too distracted by Megan Fox's inflated lips and pointing nipples?

    I saw it, I loved it, and I had no problem following the multiple plot threads. It's a movie about transforming robots; it should not be judged as a great drama.

    • I shared this not because the review was necessarily accurate but because it made me laugh aloud, repeatedly.

      The metaphor of watching it being 'like watching paint dry while being hit over the head with a frying pan' was my prior favorite scathing review of the film.
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