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in a web of glass, pinned to the edges of vision

question for the transgendered/pro-transgendered folk among you

I'd forgotten how often we saw Magritte

mucha mosaic

question for the transgendered/pro-transgendered folk among you

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ORRERY?
Just was talking to a coworker about Patrick Califa- and the occasion came up to say 'what Patrick talks about now is not the same as what Pat talked about before'. For those of you who don't know Patrick Califa at all, he used to be a lesbian author named Pat Califa.

I kinda fumbled what I was trying to say around in my mouth, and realized why, finally. I'm not sure as to what the answer is to this question, and I know there're trans and trans-friendly folks here, so please, bear with my uncertainty.

Is it more polite-and-proper to say (as a f'rinstance) 'he wears gimme caps from trucking companies now, which she didn't used to do', or 'he wears gimme caps from trucking companies now, but didn't used to when he was a woman'- or is there another option that's not crossing my pea-like brain?
For some reason, Miss Manners is a bit lax on addressing this one, and it occurs to me that there's bound to be some emotionally sensitive content around this.
  • I prefer the first one (I am FTM), since it is less awkward and it is true, 'he' used to be 'she', so that's fine, but it varies from person to person I think.
    • I am also noticing it varies from person to person. Hrmn.

      I keep hoping I can find a rule of thumb that's as generically polite as referring to a woman whose marital status is uncertain as 'Ms.' rather than 'Miss' or 'Missus'. I think I may need to give up that hope.

      Thanks!
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