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in a web of glass, pinned to the edges of vision

question for the transgendered/pro-transgendered folk among you

I'd forgotten how often we saw Magritte

mucha mosaic

question for the transgendered/pro-transgendered folk among you

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Just was talking to a coworker about Patrick Califa- and the occasion came up to say 'what Patrick talks about now is not the same as what Pat talked about before'. For those of you who don't know Patrick Califa at all, he used to be a lesbian author named Pat Califa.

I kinda fumbled what I was trying to say around in my mouth, and realized why, finally. I'm not sure as to what the answer is to this question, and I know there're trans and trans-friendly folks here, so please, bear with my uncertainty.

Is it more polite-and-proper to say (as a f'rinstance) 'he wears gimme caps from trucking companies now, which she didn't used to do', or 'he wears gimme caps from trucking companies now, but didn't used to when he was a woman'- or is there another option that's not crossing my pea-like brain?
For some reason, Miss Manners is a bit lax on addressing this one, and it occurs to me that there's bound to be some emotionally sensitive content around this.
  • Oogh, this is another thing I hadn't considered as far as what's proper and mete.
    I've known folks who can't abide having someone refer to their pre-transition lives as well; I've known folks who are perfectly fine saying 'yeah, I used to be of that other gender and now am of this one'.
    Maybe there's no universal law to create, here, and it's more case-by-case.
    • Yeah, I'd say that's fair. But if you're talking to a third party, I don't see why you shouldn't say it however you want, as long as your intent is to be considerate.
      • Mainly, I wonder what'll happen if it gets back to the subject of the conversation: I dislike being offensive accidentally (if I'm gonna offend, I want to set out to do it, dammit!).
        • Well, see previous post. If they don't like the subject being raised at all, there's not much you can do other than not talk about it. :)
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