I cannot put the pulls on the drawers yet- the drawers have holes for a 4" wide pull in them, and these are 3" pulls.
I wrestled like mad with the doors to the over-counter cabinets and tried to put the new knobs in those cabinets into the holes where the pulls were. No dice- the holes are too deep for the merely-1" long screws. But there were these OTHER holes, drilled into the cabinet doors, right near the ball-and-socket clasps that held them, and I figured I'd use those...
...who the fuck thinks it's smart to drill holes for a knob that are almost 1" offset from each other?
None of the holes that're bored out wide enough to take these screws is any of the six holes that had a handle in it before. For some obscure reason it made sense to drill A SET OF SIX NEW HOLES rather than to keep two of the three (these two are actually even with each other). Oh my heavens no. In fact, whoever put in the prior handles used WOODSCREWS to do this, sinking the woodscrew into the plastic of the handle. Jesus fucking christ how pathetically daft.
I need to acquire a drill or borrow someone's. This is absurdist. Two of these holes are properly together- and one's down there. What the fuck.
Annoyingly, this means yes, I have to paint the whole damn kitchen. Fie. Granted, the kitchen needed a solid coat of paint that wasn't stained to parchment-beige from smoking and from cooking. but still, fie.
Though damn, but the pulls and knobs that I've put up look sweet.
Pity that the designs on the light globe are only OK-looking- and COME OFF IN CHUNKS WHEN YOU FUCKING WASH THE GODDAMN LIGHT GLOBE.
n.b.: I use this icon because fuck, I'm so goddamned gay.