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An entry in which nobody in particular is being told to shut the fuck up

I'd forgotten how often we saw Magritte

mucha mosaic

An entry in which nobody in particular is being told to shut the fuck up

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stfu
Or, An Entry that Should Have Been Titled 'Sith Happens' Had city_of_dis Not Used That One Curse You Curse You You Brilliant Young Thing You.

OMG I GOT SPOILERED FOR EPISODE III!!!!!!!~@`21!
OMG!
OMFG!
WHY DOES MY FRIEND HATE ME!!!
HE SHOWED ME THE FIRST STAR WARS MOVIE, AND NOW I KNOW HOW EPISODE III HAS TO END IT IS SO UNFAIR!!!!!


Fucking christ, people. It's one thing to say 'please don't tell me anything about the movie, I'd like to walk in with my hands clean' and it's another to have a fit about how any plot points should not be revealed to you...
...on a movie that's the prequel to a film NEARLY THIRTY YEARS OLD.

Stop and think about it. Luke and Leia are, probably, born towards the tail end of Episode III. After all, doesn't Padme die in Episode 3, according to the trailer?
The emperor doesn't die, and goes on to be a nasty bastard for a whole generation. I knew this in 1987. Didn't you?
Anakin becomes Vader. The trailer tells me that very emphatically. Vader goes about being a nasty bastard for a whole generation. I knew this in 1987, didn't you?

Yoda goes to a backwater swamp world and hides out there. I think I knew this in 1983, but I'm not sure when 'Empire Strikes Back' came out. Yoda is perhaps the only surviving Jedi aside from Obi-Wan Kenobi, and I know I've known that since '83.

Luke spends his life on Tattooine ignorant of his Greater Place in the Scheme of Things (and somehow, Uncle Owen is that ignorant too, despite having been aware that his relative Anakin went off to become Darth Vader!). Leia is brought up in probably the same way that Amidala was being coddled/pampered/treated like a stuffed animal. I knew this in 1987. Didn't you?

Does anything else happen between Episode 2 and Episode 4 that actually matters, plotwise?
Can you point at anything in the first three films (which are referred to variously as either 'the original trilogy' or 'what happened when Lucas wasn't a shitty director') that was not explained in the first two episodes?

I'm only going because I want the Jar Jar Binks Gets Smushed By Something Big and Metallic scene that I know is coming. Well, that and because the office is taking me, and therefore I waste none of my $ on it.

But yeah. Episode 3 is going to be a terrible film... even if it's the best thing Lucas has ever directed. This will be because of the fantastical hype and drama cued up by a bunch of people in my age bracket who want to go back to being somewhere between 7 and 17 again.
People, this film cannot compete with your child's-eye view of the original three films. It will not compete with it. It's unfair to yourself to hype yourself up that it'll be anywhere near that good...
...and it's just fucking pathetic to throw temper tantrums in public places about hearing anything about the film like you were, you know... somewhere between 5 and 7 years old.

And another thing. What the fuck is with this 'WAAH I GOT SPOILERED' shit? Read Penn's lips, and just... just... Just grow up. You learned something about a piece of fiction before you read/viewed/heard the fiction yourself?
It's called living.
Get on with it, why don't you.
  • As the reviewer for the Guardian UK put it, sorry for the spoiler, but then again, if you don't know how this ends by now, you were also probably surprised when the good guy died at the end of The Passion Of The Christ.
  • same people bitched about the Titanic 'spoilers' as well probably.
  • I just...I don't know. I don't get how anyone can possibly care at this point, but clearly they do. There seems to be a nationwide conversation that goes something like,

    "It's going to suck."

    "Yep."

    "BOY HOWDY is it going to suck. Seeing it will be like chewing tinfoil while having knitting needles jammed into your sinuses."

    "Absolutely."

    "So I'll be there for opening night."

    "Take me with you!"

    Fucking mass hypnosis. What the HELL, people?
  • Cool Thing..

    Word Up!
    Tell it like it is!
    Let everybody know!!!
  • I dunno, I'm looking forward to seeing if I was right about a quick shot in the first trailler that looked like Obi-Wan and Padme going in for some Jedi tongue-hockey. Because that would pretty much come out of nowhere.

    Then again, maybe it's just to get the people who secretly think Ben is Luke's father to go see the movie.
    • Luke has no father! Luke and Anakin were clones from the Skywalker series of genetically-engineered super-pilots. So was Boba Fett, who was the other Jedi Obi-wan referred to in The Empire Strikes Back.

      ...

      Well, it makes more sense than Lucas's version.
  • Huh.
    You know, i'd never actually tried to read Penn's lips before right now.
    That's pretty funny.

    (I'm actually pissing my pants way more about Batman Begins, and everyone knows how that one goes, too. At least Christian Bale is hot.)
  • BTW, I take difference with the prediction that it will suck, but I do agree that if people are going thinking that it's gonna be just like seeing "Empire Strikes Back" all over again will certainly not be getting what they expect. Hope they're not too disappointed.

    I'm maintaining some optimism here in the face of past disappointments. We'll see :)
  • Wow. Sometimes you are so on target, William-fucking-Tell should have you on speed dial.

    (and obviously I need an icon for 'woah!')
  • HEY NOW!

    And another thing. What the fuck is with this 'WAAH I GOT SPOILERED' shit? Read Penn's lips, and just... just... Just grow up. You learned something about a piece of fiction before you read/viewed/heard the fiction yourself?
    It's called living.


    See I have known more than one person who would explain enough of the movie that you no longer needed to bother going to see it. It's that simple- I don't want to know ALL about the movie first. Telling me something cool happens like Yoda Vs. Chris Lee is something else altogether.

    People, this film cannot compete with your child's-eye view of the original three films. It will not compete with it. It's unfair to yourself to hype yourself up that it'll be anywhere near that good...


    I disagree. I think that if he had made the films for adults (as that is what the target audience is now) instead of for kids we would be hailing him as a genius fulfilling the potential of THX1138. As a friend of mine put it "Lucas spent years and millions of dollars getting me to hate Star Wars"

    Everything else you said was spot on though.
  • I'm just going for the popcorn.

  • Ooona toota, Solo?

    Look, I know all of Greedo's lines in his own language. I used to know so much Star Wars trivia that I went all the way to the final round in some contest at a con one time and the question that tripped me up was "What kind of creature's stuffed head did Jabba have hanging on the wall in his palace?" So, really, I can lay claim to having been, at one time, hardcore. Am I even remotely excited about this movie? No. I didn't bother seeing #2.

    George Lucas has never been able to write dialogue. Harrison Ford was the one who told him during the filming of Star Wars, "You can type this shit, George, but you sure can't say it." George Lucas doesn't give a crap about actors. And he doesn't really care about his fans, either. He had this recent interview in the press where he went all "weh weh weh people under 25 loooove the new movies, it's those crazy old fans who are my detractors." WHATEVER.

    PVPonline.com has had a lot of fairly funny strips about this, but I liked this one the most:



    (BTW, Empire came out in '81 and ROTJ came out in '83. So we knew all this in '83.)
  • Thank you for this. I spoilered someone about the book in my username yesterday and she got very mad at me and I spent the whole day feeling guilty. I still feel a bit guilty, but at least I know someone's on my side!

    You might enjoy this article on the Star Wars thingum.
  • I may as well chime in.

    I enjoyed the first three when they came out, but then again I was a CHILD. As I grew up, it was very clear to me that they were simplistic kid stuff. When the recent trilogy began I had no interest in seeing any of them. I still haven't, and I don't plan to see this one. Why? Because I'm not in junior high school anymore.

    I highly recommend today's Salon articles about this mess:

    http://www.salon.com/ent/movies/review/2005/05/18/star_wars_iii/index.html
    and
    http://www.salon.com/ent/movies/feature/2005/05/18/force/index.html

    Many good points are made therein.
  • (Geek Moment)

    While I agree completely with the general thrust of this, I'd like to point out that "and somehow, Uncle Owen is that ignorant too, despite having been aware that his relative Anakin went off to become Darth Vader!" is not accurate.

    There's a bit in episode IV-- I'm paraphrasing here-- where Aunt Beru asserts that Luke will never be happy just living on a farm on Tattooine his whole life because he has "too much of his father in him" and Uncle Owen answers "that's what I'm afraid of".


    I was worried at least one or two people would be cross with me for mentioning that Raskolnikov does not die at the end of Crime and Punishment-- fortunately, no one took issue with it.
  • where the hell has that guy been for the last 30 years?
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