Just last night, I determined this. Last night, I walked out of a bookstore and stood on the sidewalk for a few minutes, reading, and realized that all of you filthy little monkeys must hate me.
Must despise me.
Must nightly wallow in beds of your own feces and vomit, plotting unimaginably heinous vengeance upon me for reasons that I don't want to comprehend.
Why do I know this?
I picked up a couple used trade papers of Warren Ellis' Transmetropolitan.
I'd never read Transmetropolitan.
I'd never even really looked at the artwork.
I'd never even gotten a firm picture of who these people were.
I knew NOTHING.
I simply knew that Warren Ellis wrote it, and I like his blog so I decided perhaps I should read his fiction.
Perhaps I should read his fiction.
HOW COULD YOU PEOPLE ABANDON ME LIKE THIS? WHY DID YOU NOT REFUSE TO SPEAK TO ME UNTIL I HAD READ SOME OF THIS?
WHY DO YOU HATE ME?
Fuckers.
I hate this place.
gee, I think the book made something of an impression.
Must despise me.
Must nightly wallow in beds of your own feces and vomit, plotting unimaginably heinous vengeance upon me for reasons that I don't want to comprehend.
Why do I know this?
I picked up a couple used trade papers of Warren Ellis' Transmetropolitan.
I'd never read Transmetropolitan.
I'd never even really looked at the artwork.
I'd never even gotten a firm picture of who these people were.
I knew NOTHING.
I simply knew that Warren Ellis wrote it, and I like his blog so I decided perhaps I should read his fiction.
Perhaps I should read his fiction.
HOW COULD YOU PEOPLE ABANDON ME LIKE THIS? WHY DID YOU NOT REFUSE TO SPEAK TO ME UNTIL I HAD READ SOME OF THIS?
WHY DO YOU HATE ME?
Fuckers.
I hate this place.
gee, I think the book made something of an impression.
You people told me nothing.
You conspired, in silence, to maintain silence.
But now, I know.
OH HOW I KNOW.
Where's my fucking bowel disruptor...
Damn it.
I thought you were cool enough to have read it already. :/
I'm sorry. I really, truly, am.
What a blow for your street cred, though! Weep bitter tears dammit!
*grins*
That comic rarely fails to make a big impression on people. Warren Ellis is a wonderfully sick and twisted human being :)
But you'd best go read it.
RIGHT. NOW.
*G*
(None dare question Transmetro. If they do, I will kill them. I will kill them with MY COCK.)
*facepalms*
Clearly you must turn the bowel disruptor on yourself in shame.
Now get to Ladbroke and 350th and get me caribou eyes from the Eskimo take-out place.
But I have done ACTUAL SCIENCE AND RESEARCH on how to make a bowel disruptor. If I succeed, you are on the list for one of the first models. Since you've now read Transmet, you are no longer on the list of test subjects. And besides, I gave cigarettes to Mr. Ellis, which you'd sort of provided, so killing me is tacky.
Heh, heh. "Reading tube."
Of course, I also don't get Warren Ellis all the time (although I love Planetary).
*heads to the LUBS to look for this*