Repeat the following to yourself, next time you're drunk:
'I'm drunk. This means I will abjectly fail at any effort to express myself rationally. This means I will also abjectly fail at any attempt to explain away any abject failure at expressing myself rationally. I should instead say 'wow. I'm drunk.' and go forth under the assumption that- like all drunk people- I am a drunken fucktard.'
I offer this advice as a person who vomited all over himself while trying to hit on somebody, and then was drunk enough to be surprised that this person was uninterested in his bile-scented self. I, too, have been a drunken moron. And I have found it is far smarter to decide 'I am a drunken moron' than 'I had a point in all that, and I'm going to try to salvage it'.
'I'm drunk. This means I will abjectly fail at any effort to express myself rationally. This means I will also abjectly fail at any attempt to explain away any abject failure at expressing myself rationally. I should instead say 'wow. I'm drunk.' and go forth under the assumption that- like all drunk people- I am a drunken fucktard.'
I offer this advice as a person who vomited all over himself while trying to hit on somebody, and then was drunk enough to be surprised that this person was uninterested in his bile-scented self. I, too, have been a drunken moron. And I have found it is far smarter to decide 'I am a drunken moron' than 'I had a point in all that, and I'm going to try to salvage it'.
i hear ya loud and clear, loud and clear
"Now that I have had my last dance with Mary Jane and eaten everything in the house, I shall retire to my quarters and write bad poetry until I pass out, as to not add to the endless chorus of 'Dude, I'm so stoned.'"
Thursday ended with me sitting on my deck at midnight, singing Scottish drinking songs to the crows and odd housecat which wandered by. And realizing that I'm a Weird Drunk: I don't get amorous. Nor violent. Nor pissy. Nor morose, often. I get generous, and start buying rounds for the house, and the house itself.
two: for clarity, you might want to edit "my" to hread "his."
three: it was lovely seeing you, and your costume was gorgeous. if the photos taken of you last night don't show it off well enough, you really ought to do a photo shoot that does it—and you—justice.
take two.