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My own observations on whiskey snobbery follow. Some of you have not…

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My own observations on whiskey snobbery follow. Some of you have not read these. They are especially unkind to Laphroaig.

Laphroaig is a whiskey that has a long and colorful history, and tastes so fucking awful that you could import it during Prohibition, because nobody believed somebody would drink something that bleeding FOUL for enjoyment: clearly it had to be a medicinal beverage. This stuff doesn't taste peaty: this stuff tastes like somebody's stuck a bog into your mouth, made you chew on it, then forced you to gargle with a cocktail of standing seawater and EverClear. It comes in a green glass bottle, and after having tasted it, I pour from this bottle and am confused, because the drink itself tastes like it should be green.
  • sorry.

    Laphroig is my FAVORITE, followed by Lagavulin. Mmmmm. Peaty!
    • Re: sorry.

      There's peaty, there's really peaty, and then there's Laphroaig.
      As long as there's anything else around I can stand drinking, you can have my share of the Laphroaig. :)
    • Re: sorry.

      as not really a whiskey person, i thought that i should come into this entry and represent the armagnac lovers!

      armagnac represent.
    • Re: sorry.

      Laphroaig makes the misery of the real world go away. :)
  • Semi-quoting Monty Python --

    "Don't worry dear, I'll have your Laphroaig! I LOVE it!! I'll have the Laphroaig, Laphroaig, Lagavulin, Laphroaig, Spam, Laphroaig anmd Spam!"

    -- Can you tell I love the stuff? ;)
    • Good! I am glad, honestly, that it brings someone pleasure: I am simply not that someone.
      And I hope you got a snicker out of the fictional snob-appeal whiskey schpiel I made up. ;)
  • Oh how I thirst for whiskey. Damn you, colubra.
  • It's a bit much for me as well. I keep thinking it's got to be cooking whiskey, somehow, but haven't figured out what to do with it that way.
  • Pedantic again.

    Note for all involved: whiskey is Irish (or American). Whisky is Scottish, known to the rest of the world as scotch or scotch whisky.

    There is a difference. A distinct difference. It's a little bit like champagne and sparkling wine, or cognac and brandy.

    Just piping up because it's an error it looks like everybody in the thread's making.

    • sticklers for grammar, you say?

      I'd been given to understand that a bottle of Knob Creek and a bottle of Laphroaig were both produced in the same way and were therefore both whiskey; however, Laphroaig and all other scotches (or whiskys, per the definition you cite from whisky.com) are produced within the borders of Scotland using that selfsame method. Something like all rectangles have right angled corners, and all squares have equal sides and right angled corners.
      I'm uncertain about 'whisky' having a distinct definition cited on whisky.com's page, given that A) the Oxford English Dictionary thinks that whisky is merely an alternative spelling of whiskey, and B) it is in good company on this one, while C) the fellow who composed the page seems to feel that something which encapsulates the essence of something 'captivates' it, instead of 'captures' it. Myself, I'm not losing sleep about referring to Laphroaig as a whiskey when I'm composing in English, just as I'll issue forth contented snores after consuming a burgundy that I bought from a California winery, and won't sleepwalk after being confronted with a bottle of armagnac & a bottle of cognac.
      The region-definition part of the term really seems to be handled more neatly by calling Laphroaig 'scotch': the rest is a matter of which side of the plate the second-seafood-course seafood fork should be on, to my eye (the English insist this one goes above, while the French insist on laying it beside the plate, if memory serves). 'Sides, 'whisky' could just be somebody with a lazy E key on their typewriter writing 'whiskey', and sounds exactly like 'whiskey' when spoken; 'scotch', however, is pretty apparently a separate term.
    • Re: sticklers for grammar, you say?

      Oh, come on, colubra. Or you could just concede that I know what I'm talking about once in a while. I promise it's not that hard.

      I don't really consider dictionary.reference.com to be any sort of authority on drinks, and I don't imagine you really do either. However, I do assure you that people who actually do know what they're talking about are aware of the distinction between whiskey and whisky.

      Now, if you just want to go with 'I don't give a damn, and I'll call it whatever the hell I want in my own LJ,' hey, that's fine, thumbs up. One of my favorite cognacs comes from northern California, and despite what it says on the bottle, I'm happy to call it cognac, because dammit, that's what it is, even if it's half a world away from France. France can bite me; I'll call it whatever the hell I want.

      But I'm aware that it's technically wrong. Anyway, that's all I've got to say on the matter.

      • I certainly can agree that you know what you're talkin' about. :)

        The only place I've seen whisky cited as a synonym for 'scotch' is the page you cited, though; that's why I bothered digging. Reasonably, if I'm wrong about something language-wise, I want to know and stop abusing my mother tongue.
        Another cite crossed my mind here: Iain Banks- who apparently is a tippler of scotch extraordinaire, as well as a best-selling author in Great Britain- is a Scotsman, and uses whisky throughout a book he wrote in 2002, about driving around Scotland looking for "the best whisky in Scotland". If the term is as you say, why define a whisky as being 'the best in Scotland'? By your definition for the term, that'd be like saying 'the best Parisians who are living in Paris': redundancy.
        More tellingly, he also uses 'whisky' as his spelling of the term for certain American abominations against drinkable spirits: he doesn't use 'whiskey' anywhere in the book. This was why I had concluded, in 2002, that whisky was how Scotsmen spell 'whiskey', just as us Americans spell colour 'color'.
        I may well be wrong. If I'm wrong, I'm still gonna use 'scotch' where you're using 'whisky', because to my eye, it's more direct and clear. If I say 'I went and had a couple glasses of scotch with friends', you do know to ask 'have you tried that Islay I've been pushing at you yet, then?'.
      • Oh, and

        I will be sure and hang onto one of these fifths of the Glenfiddich 21-y-o Cuban-rum-cask-aged with you in mind.
      • Re: I certainly can agree that you know what you're talkin' about. :)

        If I'm wrong, I'm still gonna use 'scotch' where you're using 'whisky', because to my eye, it's more direct and clear.

        Ah! Okay, I wasn't communicating clearly then. I wasn't trying to say that you shouldn't call it 'scotch.' Scotch is, you know, what it is. Yep, righto. Thumbs up, we're on the same page there. The only thing I was saying was that 'whisky' and 'scotch' are synonymous. 'Whiskey' is not. One of these things, as Sesame Street would say, is not like the other.

        It just raises my hackles a bit when I see the 'e' tossed in there in reference to the wrong drink, is all. But no, not at all wrong to call it scotch.

        I wouldn't know Iain Banks if he bit me on the ass. I mean, I'm aware that he writes books I don't read, and he wrote a book about driving aimlessly around Scotland and rambled a lot about scotch in it, and I know you've been nudging me to read it as has the Society, who recommend it. Blah blah blah. Neither explosions nor blow jobs? Pffft!

        (Check out the above link, btw. Note to friends of colubra: this would be a fine Christmas present to pitch in together on! *cue innocent whistling*).

        Eventually I'll make it back out your way. Allegedly. Someday.

        • bookses

          I wouldn't know Iain Banks if he bit me on the ass. I mean, I'm aware that he writes books I don't read, and he wrote a book about driving aimlessly around Scotland and rambled a lot about scotch in it, and I know you've been nudging me to read it as has the Society, who recommend it. Blah blah blah. Neither explosions nor blow jobs? Pffft!

          Pick up his novel Consider Phlebas, and read that for your explosions and weird sex, then read Raw Spirit to assure yourself that the author is not, in fact, criminally insane.
    • Re: sticklers for grammar, you say?

      Knob Creek! mmmmm buttery!

      I was not going to comment as Ihave never had Laphroaig and only recently discovered my love is whisk[e]y. But mmmmmm ....

      In any event I think eographic distinctions in alcohol naming are silly in the modern day and age where they seldom (though not never) have any impact on the flavor/content whatever but are simply a way to protect import/export industries in countries in western europe.

      Port anyone?
      • Re: sticklers for grammar, you say?

        Further I think that geographic looks funny when you put the letters in the wrong places.

        Who needs typing anyway?
      • counter-point:

        I'd definitely argue that scotch has a different flavor from Knob Creek, myself. And various scotches have vastly divergent flavors, as well.
        • Re: counter-point:

          I was speaking in genreal ..... the fact that 'sparkling wine' is basically the same as champagin. That Port that is not made in portugal is frequently just as tastey ....

          The whiskeys and the scotches and burbons and such actually reprenet a diffrent processes. So I have no trouble calling them diffrent names. BGut in general there is a naming fascism that realy on serves to protect the export industries of a few western european countries.
    • Re: sticklers for grammar, you say?

      Christ, no. Knob Creek is prepared in a way that makes it actually pleasant to imbibe. Laphroig, on the other hand, could be distilled down into coal should we run out of other fossil fuels. So it's sort of a toss-up there.

      Knob Creek, Maker's Mark, Jim Beam, Baker's, and Booker's (my fave) are Kentucky bourbon whiskey, which is sweetened after distillation with a touch of sugar. Jack Daniels and its close cousin, JD Single Barrel (the only distilled spirit I will voluntarily buy for the purpose of drinking) are Tennessee whiskeys, which are not sweetened by adding sugar, but which are filtered through maple charcoal and do take up some of the maple's sweetness.

      God only knows what they do in Scotland. Maybe if they spent a little more time in the distillery and a little less time out in the sheep pasture..
      • Re: sticklers for grammar, you say?

        In terms of scotch whisky, things break down into two main categories: Highland and Islay, which are both regions of Scotland. Laphroaig is an Islay, which are known for being peaty. Highlands are known for being smokey. Other regional categories are speyside, campbeltown, and lowland, though I don't know so much about those.
  • I drink vodka... in fact, I'm drinking it right now! Whiskey gives me a headache.
    • What's your favorite vodka, then? I'm becoming fond of Ketel 1 for just straight-out-vodkaness, but Stoli Vanil remains my favorite mixin'-vodka (makes FUCKING INSANELY TASTY black or white Russians, terrific in a cape cod, and great w/ coke, a little drink I like to call a Moscow Libre).
      • I prefer Stolichnaya, but last night I was drinking Absolut Citron, because I'm someone's house guest right now and my own bar is in storage. :) I'm not really an expert on vodka, either, other than, say, drinking lots of it.
  • You all have made me thirsty. (Has nothing at all to do with not drinking enough water during the day and chinese food for dinner, oh no!)

    Scotch with a bit of water coming up... even though I feel a little guilty drinking alone.
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