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Things I love #234781237: the stupid bitchass fucktard cow orker.

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Things I love #234781237: the stupid bitchass fucktard cow orker.

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thwack (by lj-user twoflower)
I love my stupid bitchass fucktard cow orker.

I love the stupid bitchass fucktard cow orker who is invariably too busy to offer a hand with the stuff on my plate, but is never too busy to bitch at me all day about how I should or shouldn't be doing something. He provides no guidance in this bitching, but he complains that I don't do what he thinks I should do after bitching at me all day.
The stupid bitchass fucktard cow orker who takes up 3/4ths of my day with trying to solve this problem, and finally has the decency to come take some of the work that was on my plate- but by end of day, has done NOTHING with ANY of it.
The stupid bitchass fucktard cow orker who can't take 'here's the status of that thing that you were bugging me about all day' as an indication that he was just getting a fucking status report on what was apparently a hot issue from his perception.
The stupid bitchass fucktard cow orker who sends a bitchy email in response to such a status report. A bitchy email that does indeed cover some useful ground, but has so many landmines in it that you can't actually see the useful ground.
The stupid bitchass fucktard cow orker who writes such an email at an hour when I'd be in, normally, in the morning- and does so on a day I'd taken off because I was going to fucking kill him if I had to keep dealing with his bullshit.

I'm quite serious about how irritated I am. At this point, if I'd been in the office, I'd've walked down the hall and initiated a discussion about this, in front of his supervisor and mine, that would have started with 'I have to ask you a clarification question on the email you sent me, stupid bitchass fucktard cow orker- here's a copy, bossperson. Can you tell me exactly who in the fuck do you think you are, stupid bitchass fucktard coworker?' and gone downhill from there.

It's to a point where I am seriously debating going to speak with HR just for a 'how the hell do I deal with this shit?' conversation, as opposed to a 'he is EVIL and I want him DESTROYED' conversation. I clearly need to develop some new tactics in dealing with my beloved stupid bitchass fucktard cow orker.
One of these new tactics will be not checking work e-mail from home, I think.
  • Shall I fedex a taser?
  • I use to have a stupid bitchass fucktard cow orker, who use to talk shit about me behind my back to many people without realiseing that at least half of them were repeating these thigns to me.

    I still work with him, but he has ... learned a few social skills since.



    However when cthulhu rises and eats all of humanity I think perhaps I dont want to be eaten first. I think perhaps second will do ......
  • Do you have access to a paper shredder you could run him through? I find feet first works best. =)

    I definitely advocate not checking your work email from home. Or your voice mail. Or calling in. Or having any contact whatsoever with work on your days off unless you're on call. Sometimes I think that course of action--combined with leaving before the truly abhorrent wastes of flesh arrive in the morning and only dealing with them in text--is the only thing that's kept me from testing just how useless our security staff is.
  • Does this guy outrank you in any way? Seniority? If not, or if he's stretching the limits of his job description to Jabba-the-Hutt-elastic-sweatpants proportions (which it sounds like he is), just ignore him. If he walks into your space and starts up a conversation, and telling him you're busy doesn't help, I find that standing up and moving away from the desk like you're about to go down the hall usually works.

    But yeah, the talk in front of the boss about inappropriate behavior sounds perfect.
    • about the only way this guy outranks me is in having done the specific job longer. Otherwise? I'm definitely his senior in every possible respect.
  • Looks like time for some ICS (Induced Combustion Syndrome). "No, Officer, I can't imagine how my cow orker caught on fire." *Looks innocent* "Must have been a freak accident involving white out fumes and a cigarette."
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