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in a web of glass, pinned to the edges of vision

For those of you with mutual friends with insanely horny cats

I'd forgotten how often we saw Magritte

mucha mosaic

For those of you with mutual friends with insanely horny cats

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mucha mosaic
A Q-tip stands in very nicely for the male of the species in situations where the cat's in heat and won't shut the hell up.

Please pass this data along.
  • Oh god. The mental image is just...

    mmph.
  • You have given me the word "catfucker", as well as the best situation ever. For this, I am grateful.
  • My best friend's boyfriend did this to her cat a looong time ago. I think part of the key here is to ask permission of the cat owner before qtip-dildoizing someone else's cat. (Unless it's a psycho roommate, in which case you may be doing yousrself and the cat a favor if you do this and never mention it.) My friend was most upset that her boyfriend committed catfuckery without telling her.
    • Hell, you remember the Squallid Trollwoman I used to live with. That was when I learned to commit catfuckery.
      • Completely understandable in such a case.

        I think one should either ask permission or just never speak of the act to the cat owner. Telling your girlfriend "Hey, your cat was being a horny little freak, and I was in the bathroom and there were Q-tips, and I just - well - it made the cat shut up" is kind of dodgy.
  • I feel the need to point out this other, obvious issue here.
    Unless the cat is pedigreed and being used for breeding, IT SHOULD BE NEUTERED.
    If you are LIVING with someone who WILL NOT neuter their cat for any reason EXCEPT the above, you should MOVE.
    • Thank you. I was about to voice the same comment. :) (If it were me, I'd get said housemate's cat spayed/neutered and add amount to house accounts.)

      But sometimes we adopt animals who go into heat before they can be spayed (and it's risky/more complicated to spay during heat). So the info could be useful. I've never been tempted to dildo-ize a cat (even when my kitten tried to have an affair with the Quaker Oats Man's box... Gods, that was hysterical.) But I suppose it is useful information to know when the wailing just won't stop. Clinically-speaking, I'll file it away. ;D

      And if you think about it, Colubra, it makes perfect sense that it would work, given cat physiology. :)

      --Chesh
      • Yes- fixing the cat is the smarter tactic, by far. And yes, you can't do that while she's yowling for Tom Dick or Harry to come deal with how horny she is. So. ;)
      • If you're referring to the cat I'm thinking of, both getting it fixed and trying to use the q-tip remedy would be difficult at best.

        ...as far as we're concerned, she's feral. We've now gotten to the point where she no longer lives exclusively under the couch, and we can look at her and talk to her without scaring her half to death, but we can't touch her, and we certainly can't get her into a carrier. (We have a humane trap, but I'm sure we would catch everybody else in the house before she set foot in it.) This hasn't been a problem thus far, as there is no one in the house who could impregnate her ...
      • Actually, according to my Vet, it's dogs who shouldn't have the operation when in heat. It's no more dangerous than it normally is for cats. The important thng is to prevent mounting for a week or so after the operation, since a male cat could claw the stitches open. The female cat stops feeling like mating right away, but continues to smell exciting to the males.
    • Said acquaintance above was a cat breeder, actually, yeah. Should've left that detail in.

      In my case it was simply not being able to afford getting the cat neutered until I could afford it.

  • my roommate used to do that. i have no words for this act of .... of.... of. oh for fuck's sake.

    i'm not so bold with the q tips!
  • THANK YOU SO MUCH!

    This means *I* no longer have to take the place of a horny male cat.

    Maybe now my knees will heal. She usually scratches the fuck out of them during the act.

    Thanks again!
  • I had some friends who employed this measure to deal with an in-heat cat. Cat promptly went right back into heat, had a litter of kittens, and nearly died. After that, they got her spayed.
    • yes, this is useful for just getting her to shut the hell up so you can sleep TONIGHT, rather than useful for getting her to drop out of heat. That still has to take its natural course for a non-pregnant cat- but this at least shuts her the hell up so that you can sleep.
  • *jawdrop*

    ....I have never been more grateful that I'm allergic to cats. Damn.
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