So far I have this much:
Had I known then what I know now, I would never have set foot on that fateful journey into the shop of the Rubber Phallus. Even now, when Frederickson's screams have long since ceased to echo into the night, I can only picture it...
...the cyclopean jar of lubricant... the unspeakable angles of that dildo, which would have made Pythagoras speechless with fright...