I'd forgotten how often we saw Magritte (colubra) wrote,
I'd forgotten how often we saw Magritte

Completism has bad moments.

Ten years had brought me to a place where I had forgotten the terror, the horror, the sheer uneluctable torment. Yes, anguish was no longer a part of my memory of 1993.

Then I bought the 3-disc CD/DVD re-release of Bowie's 'Black Tie, White Noise', which is now sitting on my desk. This is still a benchmark in how amazingly bad an album can be, period. It's the worst Bowie album ever-- yes, it makes Never Let Me Down seem brilliantly good by comparison.
It's educational, though.
Here's what we learn:

Rule #1: Never work twice with Nile Rodgers.
Rule #2: Never write a song with the word 'Wedding' in the title after having worked with Nile Rodgers or while working with Nile Rodgers. It didn't do well for Duran Duran, it didn't do well for David Bowie, it won't do well for you, either.
Rule #3: If you're going to combine real instruments and synthesized, you need to use more real instruments than a vamp of brass here and there and the bass.
Rule #4: Never do a song for a Bakshi animated film.
Rule #5: Only use one producer.
Rule #6: Only let your one producer use a limited amount of overdubbing. 32 tracks does not make a better product; 32 tracks makes a completely sterile soundscape with no character or interest whatsoever.
Rule #7: No songs about Lucy's inability with manifestations of the terpsichorean muse.
Rule #8: If your album is an experiment with going rhythm-heavy, and you insist on mixing it yourself, MIX THE FUCKING BASS FRONT, AND THE TREBLE BACK.
Rule #9: Did I mention no fucking Bakshi animated films?

Just wow. Terrible album that could have actually been good- if at least 3 of the above rules had not been violated. I've heard these songs live, which means stripped down of all the overproduction... and they're not half bad. But the album versions are just sad.

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