So a thought occurred to me:
Straight couples have little discussion required about who's doing what to whom. There's an emphatic 'this is how it plays, homey' about who's putting what in where; if you want to vary from that (and good on you if you do!), there's discussion to be had. But most people won't vary.
Gay couples? It's a negotiation every night. Maybe I don't feel like giving head tonight. Maybe I just don't want to fuck your ass senseless tomorrow night. Is that something wrong with you? no. Might it take a good bit of coercing to get that across? yes.
Chripes, no wonder a lot of older gay men seem so lonely.
...but what do we call it when:
-person not of color writes a story and does her/his level best to get inside the headspace of characters who are of color, and treats them as respectfully as she/he can
-persons of color go off on (to paraphrase) white imperialist cultural genocide- and refuse to even read the story / view the film?
I'd be horribly disgusted if a black guy did a movie about white people, and white people were horrified and up in arms because he doesn't understand the white culture so obviously they shouldn't even see the movie, myself. And I wouldn't be disgusted at the director; I'd be disgusted by the white people shrieking about their culture being misappropriated. So... why is it that if a white guy makes a movie that's framed in his understanding of non-white culture, it's cool to throw racist epithets at him?
No, I really am not trolling here: I'm genuinely startled at what seems to be a huge degree of duplicity, from where I'm sitting. I can certainly see going 'yeah, Kevin Costner? You're clueless about my people, and let me tell you why, utilizing my informed opinion as to what you missed in your movie, and my quite simply larger grasp of the issues you glossed or missed'. I don't think it's cool to run around spouting off 'oh yeah my mother's brother's friend said her husband thought that Dances With Wolves is horribly racist so I'm gonna run it down everywhere, and never see it' everywhere you go... Hell, why would you need to slag Dances With Wolves for being racist? It's a Kevin Costner movie, that right there is enough argument to never see it in your life.
Eeh. Anyway. Am I completely insane, or is there a point to not going off about a work of fiction that you haven't encountered even 1% of?
OK, I definitely have a better handle on what I was missing, here- many thanks to all!
I think some of this question came up after last night's movie watching: the housemate brought home a recent Mexican sci-fi film named 'Sleep Dealer'. Very good movie- I recommend it highly if you either speak Spanish or have patience to read subtitles- which is a discussion of the border politics in southern California / Mexico (I fear I didn't catch where the main character's hometown was, more specifically than 'it's in Mexico, and that definitely is too dry to be the Yucatan'). I think watching it had some hand in this issue cropping up to be discussed, rather than me just putting the question aside.