May 3rd, 2005


I GOT DEM SWISS COFFEE BLUES (bwah-dah-dah-duh-dwank)

Today I had hoped to be going home to unshelve books so I could move bookshelves so I could reshelve books in the new room.

The new room, as of 8 AM this morning, had been painted in the wrong color (the whole damn room is beige: i asked if it could be white top to bottom, since it's the only room that gets direct sunlight for more than 15 minutes of the day). No, even despite the fact that 'Walls: Frost' and 'Trim: Swiss Coffee' is written, in someone else's handwriting, on the warranty sheet for the $300 set of pots and pans I bought. No, no, the whole goddamned room is Swiss Coffee*, floor to ceiling front to back. The hardwood floors and the window ledge are the only surface that isn't painted with this color.

Now, this is the great big gargantuan slicer of urine (what the hell does 'pisscutter' mean, anyways?), in my eyes. The crown mouldings are all this rather difficult color I just don't much care for. the coved ceiling is. So is the beautiful bas-relief around the top of the coving on the ceiling. The doorframes? They and the baseboards got painted the GLOSSY EVIL WHITE OF DOOM, which looks like fucking SHIT in an all-beige room.
I suddenly feel utterly no guilt about the concept of dry-brushing all the moldings that aren't EVIL WHITE OF DOOM with a bronze metallic paint to give them some sort of texture and interest.

However, in addition to this nonsense, there are other problems.

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Now the landlady, of course, is coming in this afternoon, so she can check on smoke alarms in the midst of all this crazy nonsense. Crazy nonsense involving everything which ain't a kitchen item being in one of two other rooms which are now to-the-gills packed- or laying in a heap in the hallway.
I can't even FIND one of the three smoke alarms (the other two are either where they're supposed to be, or on a counter waiting to be put back once the painters are done). I left her a note calling her attention to A) the mislaid one and B) the fact that the room project is going less-than-glamorously.

I think I'm going to go watch Hitchhiker's Guide this evening, and pray that I come home to a sign that says 'WE ARE REPLACING THE WINDOWPANE TOMORROW, AND THE PAINTERS ARE DONE AND OUT OF YOUR LIFE FOREVER MORE'- I'd like to have a hallway again.

And I'm a lot less confident now about the idea of repainting my hallway myself, given the bullshit I have had to deal with for the last week from a 'professional' painter.

But then again, I don't think I could possibly fuck it up this bad.

If you have read this far, you deserve a bit of a chuckle. Swiss Coffee and Swiss Cream are two colors that Kelly-Moore offers. I saw the handwritten note and had heard 'Kelly-Moore' bandied about, so I went to their website.
Swiss Cream looks like a 1-pint latte that hasn't been stirred after 1 shot of espresso's been poured in, as viewed from above.
Swiss Coffee looks like a pint of milk that is being held by someone who is very earnestly thinking about coffee. It's about as dark as Haagen-Daas Coffee ice-cream. I found this dichotomy highly amusing. Cream is darker in color than coffee? WTF? Clearly these Switzers have weird ideas about cows. Or weird ideas about coffee. Or both.
  • Current Mood
    All of you, over there? Die.
thwack (by lj-user twoflower)

Oh for the love of...

...I don't even know whose mercy to appeal to, here.

Came back from a great evening out with a great friend and a great movie (I liked Hitchhiker's Guide, just for the record), to find A) the window is still broken B) there's no note regarding progress on repair thereof and C) EVERY GODDAMNED DOOR IN THE APARTMENT IS WIDE OPEN.

I have my bedroom door closed now, and the study/library door closed, and every window outside of that room open so as to vent the paint reek that has permeated my bedroom.

God Damn It.