May those of you who have last minute gifts to purchase today be able to do this without insisting that everybody else's world revolve around your especial problem.
May the 38 run smoothly.
May everybody get into Union Square and back out in under thirty minutes. This wish includes me.
May the post office be a model of efficiency.
May five p.m. find us all sitting in our homes wondering what to do before visiting with friends this evening.
May any cantankerous relatives realize that their cantankerousness induces scroogedom, and drink deeply of the juice of the shutthefuckupberry.
May you all have a wonderful Christmas, Chanukah, Yule, Kwanzaa, belated-Solstice-celebration, Isaac Newton's birthday, and any other name for tomorrow that I missed.