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in a web of glass, pinned to the edges of vision

What do these items all have in common?

I'd forgotten how often we saw Magritte

mucha mosaic

What do these items all have in common?

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mucha mosaic
Here's the list.
A set of Logitech Z340 3-Piece Computer Speakers; a Mikasa Stoneware Sugar and Creamer Set; a pair of Vise-Grip 428GS 4-piece Locking Pliers Tool Set; a Tapco 1000 Brake Buddy; a Gerber Mealtime Baby; a set of Quick-Grip Bar Clamps; a 4-piece Crib Bedding Set; a 53-Piece Stainless-Steel Flatware Set by Oneida; a Gator Grip Universal Socket wrench; a DVS 17" LCD Monitor; a pair of Motorola TalkAbout 2-Way Radioes; a Memorex 48x12x48x CD-RW Drive; a Calphalon Nonstick Anodized Collector's Edition 12-Inch Round Griddle'; a 1/2" Heavy Duty 7.0 Amp Angle Drill Kit; and a Board Game named Nutty Elephant?


For some reason, amazon.com is operating under the delusion that since I was able to blow a couple hundred dollars on their website over 2002, I may desire new computer speakers; the sugar and creamer to a set of stoneware i don't own; a tool to screw things down, a tool to angle a drill (Or is it an angled drill? I have no clue) and a quintet of tools used to hold things, a tool used to screw things down, a doll, a COLLECTOR'S EDITION nonstick griddle...und so weiter und so weiter. The only thing they came close to hitting was the flatscreen monitor -- which is 1" smaller than the one I just bought, an offbrand unlike the one I just bought, and marketing for $100 more.
Why do they think that someone who buys books on queer studies would want these things? Why do they think someone who browses Dan Savage books is going to need a collector's edition nonstick griddle -- why do they think anyone will? Why do they think people who buy litcrit about James Joyce would need a copy of the 'Nutty Elephant' board game?
In short, why on earth do they think anyone would WANT this shit?

And why is it that if I don't want the sugar and creamer that won't match the dishes I do own, this means I want five pairs of vise grips? Does not being interested in accessories to your set of dishes mean you want monkeywrenches? Similarly, does apathy about a universal socket wrench mean you need a flatscreen monitor? Or does having a flatscreen monitor already mean you want a pair of walkietalkies?

Some marketing research might be well spent, here.
  • I buy books on the Viking Age and get adverts for wood/machine shop tools. Tablesaw, drill press, or belt sander, anyone?
  • Or just a way to mark suggestions "WRONG!"
  • If this is from the Gold Box thing, my theory is that it's not so much targeted marketing as an attempt to dump whatever surplus they bought at a liquidation auction last week. If they put it out there in front of enough people, they might just find 50 people to clear out the supply of COLLECTOR'S EDITION non-stick griddles that they had to buy along with the stuff they really wanted.
    • It is and it probably is, yeah.

      I just wish that given that they give me 21386546 squintillion cookies per session, they might bother looking at what I buy or browse, instead of throwing me things like today's #1 pick: the Harley Davidson Barbie #4 (this is the fifth time I've been offered a chance to buy this cheap!).
  • I'm sure it makes sense to someone...

    For some obscure reason I'm reminded of the outtake from Toy Story II with Mr an Mrs Potatohead and the string of useless things she gives him.

    All I can say is it's either a really strange marketting ploy to bombard you with everything under the sun, in the hopes that at least one in a million might be what you're looking for, or they've been smoking something.

    -passes the silly-ciggy-

    Smoke some of this, you'll understand ;)
  • Today's Gold Box Items:

    Thermos 4656110 Grill-2-Go Gas Grill Manufactured by Char-Broil --apparently, a portable gas grill is something I need.
    Bosch BL30 Manual Precision Laser (viewable at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0000683BW/ref=xs_gb_off_dtl_2_hi/002-6753703-5435250) When that spirit level just ain't good enough
    See 'n Say: Kids Around the World --apparently an update on the old 'The Cow Says MOOOOOOO' toys that Fisher-Price made 30 years ago
    DeWalt DW979K-2 12-Volt Drywall/Deck Screwdriver Kit Because as we all know, drywall and decks require a completely different SET of screwdrivers than framing, or furniture or.
    Milwaukee 6310-28 18-Volt Circular Saw and Hammer-Drill Combo Kit with Contractor Bag </b> For storing your contractor, no doubt.
    Cronkhite S-5000 Screed-Vibe Concrete Vibrator I had to go to the item description, having no idea what a Screed-Vibe is. Here's what the item description had to say: Low cost. Levels concrete and settles aggregate. Cuts down on waiting times. Works best on metal screeds up to 20 feet. 20-foot built in power cord. --they have no idea what they're selling either. Sounds obscene, doesn't it?
    Bucket Boss Brand 01056P Bucket Boss 56 Organizer -- splendid! I always wanted to keep my boss in a bucket!
    Snugli - Early Care Newborn Soft Carrier apparently, apathy about screed-vibe concrete vibrators means that I need to carry around soft newborns.
    Porter-Cable 2610 3/8" Keyless Drill I must be living in the stone age or something, but the concept of a keyless drill bothers me.
    Allied 59096 131-Piece Automotive Tool Set And apparently I own a car.
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