I had an idea for a vinyl sequencer once. Basically it involves lots and lots of singular-groove records on long spindles with multiple needles. You either drop and lift the needles as necessary (or switch their signals on and off), or have some sort of gearing or punch-card system to do it for you. No high-technology necessary.
He then produced a shirt of bright red cotton, its breast embroidered in azure and white with the motto "Fuct," and the sleeves dramatically shortened. I warned the lad that, as a respectable academic, I would not open myself to ridicule, but he was adamant that, should I attend the event dressed in the waistcoat and tails of a contemporary gentleman, I would be uncomfortable and even more a target for mockery.
Hahaha. Brilliant :) This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time, thanks!